Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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