dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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