i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
