only if we run a train.
done.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
