I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
