please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
