Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
