Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
