How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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