I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
