i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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