All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think i have herpe
just one?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
