Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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