watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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