Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How's work?
Spinning.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
