haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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