i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
