i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize