Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
