Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
