I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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