this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I smell stomach acid.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
