this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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