I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize