we're blogging at a bar
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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