tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the day after is always just damage control
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
