Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
third nipple confirmed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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