How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
