I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
