cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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