Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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