so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
