forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My bed smells like the plague
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