Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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