Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
