sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
