It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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