who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My dick has a subreddit
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
