may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
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who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am naked and annoyed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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