What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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