His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
