singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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