I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
