Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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