I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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