its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
