Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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