Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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