Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
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I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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