This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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