I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
being pregnant is like rehab
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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