I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
