Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
