Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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