You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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