Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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