Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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