Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
